I am writing this to give you love and hope for your life. Many people are diagnosed with this disorder. Many people have childhoods where their parents/caregivers were not there for them in an emotional, caring, respectful way. Parents should be this for their children. It is a hard act to provide, yet necessary.
    Many clients come into my office and ask for help. When we discover this, I give the same lecture, I am writing here. How they can change, how it requires work, how Dr. Marsha Linehan's treatment has been the best in my experience. I require clients to use her workbook to guide our treatment. The result? People have turned their lives around, literally. 180 degrees. I respect their dedication, hard work, tears, and pain. It is precisely that, that creates the new person I see and they feel inside. Its lovely.
So, take heart, you can live, heal, breathe like the rest of us. It just takes one step at a time with a skilled therapist.
      Some clients do the opposite and play mind games with me. They don't last long. I am not the worst, nor the best, noone is. You, the client need to see shades of gray and understand it and respond accordingly, appropriately, given the circumstances. People with this disorder do not do this typically.
      You have to agree to put down the behavior of attacking every little fault in order for the therapist to keep you. If you antagonize them unnecessarily,( I have had this done before you can tell), you will be asked to leave the office never to return. The therapeutic relationship is precious and to be respected not used as a punching bag because you feel like it.
     I hope this information helps you the client understand how to approach the situation should the therapist tell you -"I believe you have this disorder, can we talk about this?" I realize those three words strike terror into people's hearts, but I feel that people should know success happens and will continue to happen. As long as you keep trying.